


like a lover who won't back down

by Laeana



Series: σh darling, we were meant to be. [4]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Feels, Breaking Up & Making Up, Comfort, Developing Relationship, Getting Back Together, Hope, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:46:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27804028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana
Summary: The thing is, Sebastian and Lewis have a story.But the thing is, Sebastian and Lewis also had separate stories.
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel
Series: σh darling, we were meant to be. [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019431
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	like a lover who won't back down

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [this is gospel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22653421) by [Laeana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana). 



> featuring : A Good Song Never Dies by Saint Motel

The thing is, Sebastian and Lewis have a story.

But the thing is, Sebastian and Lewis also had separate stories.

Because soulmates aren’t always a good thing, it's not always happy. The thing they have in common is that they both lost their soulmark.

Complying sometimes goes above all else. Sad story of fates that do not work together. And now they love each other. Really. But they feel the emptiness, the loss, the fear.

And if the one they've been linked with one day realizes their mistake and comes to beg their forgiveness, what will they do then? That's why their relationship is so unstable, so hectic. Their hopes are dead, however.

From the moment their soulmarks were gone, from his palm for Lewis and the inside of his knee for Sebastian, they knew it was over somehow. That nothing would ever be the same. They don't talk about it. What is the point of putting a name, a face on a person who has abandoned them ?

It hurts, they have gone through painful ordeals. Failures in their personal lives. Absolutely appalling lessons.

Lewis had a happy relationship. At a certain point. Someone he had known for a long time. Until their careers got tangled up and, of course that couldn't happen anymore. Nothing at all. They could no longer communicate, no longer understand each other.

He had 22 injuries before his soulmark disappeared. He didn't even want to. He clung to it with all his heart. He would have liked to keep it, he would have wanted so much ... because in the end, we stay hooked on something because we love it.

He will have loved him in a way that he never would have loved anyone else. A dream that has become impossible over time. He struggles to even become friends with his old soulmate again, the memory burns him.

He has no more bruises, is that an advantage ? This shows him that he has nothing more to hold onto. He has become a "normal human" in the midst of a tide of people who spend their time looking for those intended for them.

He knows, he understood all these speeches, these people saying that it should not define them, that he could love whoever he wanted. He had no choice now.

For Sebastian it was someone older. Quite inaccessible too. Make no mistake, nothing is really impossible if you want to. There are a lot of things we can do, honestly. Even living while hiding would have satisfied him.

But there he is, he has nothing left. He never showed his soulmark, convinced it would hold back the one who was above all his friend. He let it flow. Everything was getting worse anyway. He was injured four times.

Then it disappeared. He hardly cried. Hardly, because a few tears escaped from his eyes. Slid down his cheeks. Because it hurts deep down, the feeling that his soul is split in two. A hole.

Contemplate where his soulmark was, now noticing the skin so virgin, so white. Ironically, that's a task. He no longer has anything to mark his skin. No more scars to remind him of the painful memory of having suffered this loss.

He often had a hard time living. Live with that on his conscience. No longer being able to want things beyond his reach. No longer being able to dream about it, think about it, hope for it.

Why ?

They both lost. They found each other, got to know each other. They saw the lack of indicators on their two bodies, it was amazing to be able to understand each other so much when nothing could be done.

What can I say, they were friends before they were lovers. They have known the difficulties. So they have a bond of their own. That will not replace the memories or their pain. Common in any case.

They come into conflict. Sometimes. Conflicts about the races, their behavior, a lot of things that have no place in this kind of relationship. They argue like old married couples, reconcile as if they were afraid of never meeting again.

They love each other, basically, in their own way.

It's both similar to their old soulmates and totally different. How to compare links that have nothing comparable? They lost the opportunity to be bonded with the person fate provided them with so they are now bonded as the fallen, time-ravaged.

Sebastian wants to move on. Lewis is stuck in the past. This is the inventory, their hearts scandalously damaged.

And maybe it's the end of the season, maybe they should stop bringing up the subject that always annoys, that of finally admitting that they are something real. A couple in this case.

The German tightens his lips. He almost feels his fingernails tearing his palms, Valtteri, behind them, has moved far away, having felt that he had to leave them privacy.

— Lew', please. We can't do things like that. It's almost the season break. We should ...

— Take the opportunity to put some distance ? Lately, I think we should think better about what we both want.

He knows, he knows this stuff wouldn't even be questioned if they were soulmates. If they were ... he shouldn't be having those kinds of thoughts. He hurts himself. But lately, he can't help but think about it.

Think about a world where the Briton would be his. Where it would be marked on his skin, anchored in his blood. Where fate wouldn't have screwed up completely. Is it really impossible to achieve ?

— Is it because we don't have any mark that you doubt us so much, Liebling ?

The older one does not answer but his silence seems to speak for him. Bitterness grips him, creating a vice. He closes his eyes, but even breathing deeply this heaviness does not go away. Always dug deeper, like a reminder.

This cold which invades him almost makes him shiver. A long, long time since he had this feeling. He runs a hand around his neck, letting his emotions explode.

— That's your problem ! Hell, we got hurt, Lewis, we suffered terribly, we lost our soulmates, okay. But it's a fact, it's time to move on now. You can't get stuck in the past just because you're scared !

He meets the brown gaze fixed on him, incredulous, maybe a little defeated too. Who doesn't stop him.

— You have the right to be afraid, but do you have to shut yourself off from everything ? I was ready to leave it all behind, I was ready to love you but you mess up while just refusing to think about it. I can’t believeit. See you in Australia, bye.

He gets his things and walks towards the exit, furious. Few notice his departure. On the doorstep, he meets Carlos and Lando, a thin smile lights up his face.

— Have a happy holiday together.

Then he leaves. Take the plane, go home. Receive instructions, pose the situation. Time goes by. This pain does not go away. That feeling of leaving business unfinished behind.

The constant reminder of a too common situation. Not enough. He is supposed not to have the same connections and yet this suffering is so similar. How is that even possible ?

For a moment, he has an unhappy hope. He watches the back of his knee, looking for any mark, anything, but he's still just as empty. Nothing marks his pale skin.

Nothing.

He stops believing it. He had managed to stop thinking about it. Lewis rekindled everything in him. As many old reflexes as old feelings. He misses him, of course. It's constant.

A break day.

He gets up lazily, knowing full well that he doesn't have much to do today. He lets himself lunch, observing the winter landscapes. Away from the world, a little, for once.

The ringing at the door fates him from his thoughts. He gets up to go to open the door, putting on a t-shirt occasionally. He checks the intercom, surprised when he notices that it's Lewis who is there. Why ?

— Seb ? Can I come in ? Please ?

He opens the door fairly quickly, aware of the bad weather outside. His lover seems to finally warm up when he enters the enclosure. They smile at each other, distant, a little shy towards each other.

— I missed you.

These words almost have a hard time leaving his lips. But this more tenderly the Briton who immediately approaches to kiss him. It's familiar, incredibly sweet.

— Tell me, Lew, why are you here ?

— I ... took my time. I had to think about it. And there was something I had to show you. Absolutely.

His companion seems almost impatient, excited. He raises an eyebrow. They leave the entrance to go and settle in the living room, he prepares hot chocolates in this weather and feels his heart racing as he sees his guest blow gently on the top of the cup. Adorable.

— Lewis ?

— You were right to tell me that I was afraid, it was true. I couldn't project myself. So I went to see him. I spoke to him ... I needed to get rid of it. The thing is, I missed you a lot, Seb, I ... I'm sorry for the last time.

— The best is that you made it yourself. It doesn’t matter.

— No, I was an idiot.

When the six-time world champion begins to undress while taking off his top, he can't help but a small exclamation of surprise.

— You know, Liebling, I'm never against a striptease, but maybe now is not the time ?

— It's not ... uh ...

Sebastian likes to make him lose his means like that. He loves him strong enough to appreciate every side of him, even the most annoying ones.

With the top removed, he can see a slight bruise on one of Lewis's ribs. He stares at it for a few moments, without understanding.

— Yes ?

— Seb, it was you who gave me this mark.

— But I didn't touch you, I didn't ...

Suddenly it hits him. Comprehension. He falls from a height. Or, in fact, he doesn't really know what kind of emotions he should be feeling. Everything is mixed up, he feels awfully moved. My God.

He hesitates for a moment before coming to touch the wound. Gasping as he rests his palm on it, the contact almost bringing tears to his eyes.

— We're linked. How is it possible ?

— I don’t care.

Lewis suddenly kisses him strongly and comes to sit on his lap. He lets himself go to this sensation and passes his hands on the bare back of his companion, so happy, so happy. He liked before. In a very different way, full of despair.

And he loves now. Differently. Full of hope. He loves him, he loves him, he loves him so much.

— I'm sorry, Seb, so much. It was silly of me. I don’t want to lose you.

— You won't lose me, you know. I wanted you well before all that because you are the only one who understood me, because we lived difficult things but together.

The other pilot slips his hands under his shirt and gets rid of them quickly. The urge to touch is too strong. Physical contact, just one.

They never thought it was possible, they never considered it. How to think that fate could reshape itself like this ? Impossible.

A new soulmark bloomed above their shoulder, barely visible under a t-shirt, two bars connected by one at the bottom, almost appearing to form a u. He doesn't see anything else, he knows it won't die.

And they love each other, they love each other, they love each other so much. They don't care about anything else anymore, although the seasons pass and they comfort themselves through everything they go through, the greatest disillusions and the greatest joys.

They love each other.

The thing is, Sebastian and Lewis have a story.

**Author's Note:**

> Another perspective on that universe, a time where they weren't direct soulmates but still found each other ... I hope you liked it still !


End file.
